Can I Do This?
I just started sparring as part of my workouts and nothing has challenged me more, physically or mentally. I get in the ring and I’m breathless, I can’t move the way I need to, my timing is off, everything feels heavy and I can’t get out of my own way. I get hit with everything that is being thrown and my own punches are extremely slow.
The worst part is that my brain sees where the punches will land, when I should move and where I should counter…, But my body just can’t react. It’s like being stuck in a nightmare, my feet feel stuck to the floor and my arms are weighed down.
After 2 rounds, 3 if I’m really lucky, I’m completely done. What really gets me down though is that I’ve been sparring fairly green kids and I’m supposed to be turning pro to fight. Am I kidding myself?
When I lay down at night, I replay it in my mind, thinking about it over and over again. So I’m awake, I’m depressed, and I want to know, “can I do this, really?”
Is it because I’m out of shape? Is it that I still need to shed lots of pounds? Is that why my timing is off?
Another day at the gym after working out, the thought enters my mind to find beauty in the chaos. So now I think, let’s see what happens with one month of discipline, doing double ups, sticking to my diet.
I have a new motto, run run run, eat right eat right eat right, spar hard spar hard spar hard.